hello myspace world, how are you today?... I hope you are well and finding your emotions on the positive side of the median and if you are not there, I hope you find some thread of humor, even if it's cynical or sardonic, to hang on to until something inspires your smile... maybe even finding some stranger on the internet cares enough to ask how you are could do it...

it's going on 3am and I've got work in the morning, Monday morning, just another manic Monday but I don't hate Mondays because it is one more day offering the opportunity to experience life and hope for love... I had a great time at a concert tonight (you can find the concert schedule in a previous blog entry if you're curious to know which bands we saw) and even though I am lonely cuz everybody went to bed, I still feel the energy of the music and the friendly crowd and the hope inside me that tomorrow will be even better than today...

and so I came here to thank you for being out there, especially for reaching out to me if you did... and I want you to know I not only appreciate you, but I care about you (getting to like you, getting to hope you like me) and it is in this caring that I find my hope for tomorrow because even when I am feeling lonely or down in the dumps, if I remember that I care I feel better and find hope that someone else might care too and then, we can feed each other some caring and watch it grow exponentially as caring really is a pay-it-forward kind of feeling...

so what if we decided, I mean, right now (though it could be anytime you want) to make each other matter... to say hello and want to know how we are feeling and why... what is up and what is down inside and why... what if we dared open up and shared an honest moment, a real handshake or hug in our words... what if you chose to believe I really do care about you and you gave me the trust of believing in me... and what if you shared yourself and I chose to believe you really do care about me and I gave you the trust of believing in you...

that is why I am here, public space, and the comment box is open and the links to other ways of contact, email, snail mail, even phone are readily available right here in my myspace profile... and if you want to know more about me before you decide, there are seemingly endless pages of writings, some autobiographical and some creative, that reflect me and my perspectives and opinions and thoughts and feelings about life and love and the universe and just about everything...

and if you have a question about anything and either don't have the time to read more of my web ramblings and rhymes or you simply don't have the patience to take the time to try to find your answers in words I've already written, then just ask... I keep my doors and windows open to let in fresh air and welcome you, caring person, potential friend... I embrace and welcome every one who intends no harm and wish you the comfort and security to accept my caring about you as the innocent and honest feeling it is...

it feels better, everything feels better this way... I've tried other ways... I've tried apathy and I've tried ambivalence... I've tried cynicism and I've tried depression... I've tried superficial laughter and I've tried casual smiles... I've tried following holy words and doing good deeds in someone else's name... I've tried lying and cheating and casting aside my heart... I've tried blind faith and hanging on a psychological cross... I've tried giving in to insecurity and I've tried giving someone else total control... I've tried shutting down and hiding from the world... I've tried laying in the gutter and giving up on life... I've tried need... I've tried greed... I've tried wasting my seed... I've tried to understand and rationalize and I've tried detaching and I've tried compromising... and I've tried to find other ways to try...

and here I am, back to the way I was born... the first steps... the eyes wide open... the extended hand... the daring to inquire... to be curious... to say hello... to want to know... and to care because after all is said and done, caring still feels better than any other way I've tried to live... in spite of the way some can take advantage of it... in spite of the way it can leave me vulnerable to hurt... I've learned that every other way can hurt even more... and I've learned that no other way can bring the rewards that caring can bring... so I feel foolish to have taken such a circular route to this point, but being back to caring I can enjoy the laugh that is on me...

I choose love over fear... sure, I am afraid you might laugh or scoff or take advantage of me... sure I am afraid I might trust you and believe in you and you might use that against me or betray my trust... sure I am afraid I might love you and come to depend on you and you might leave... but I choose love over fear... it's the better way for me because it is the only way to have any chance at sharing a true and honest caring... every other way defeats the purpose before it starts...

so hello myspace world... how are you today?... I hope you find a way to create smiles in you and to share those smiles with those around you... I hope you choose to be honest with yourself and to care... find a way to care... make a way to care... that is my wish for you today...

 
g'nite myspace and g'day world