Subject kiss today goodbye
DateCreated 11/2/2006 9:51:00 PM
PostedDate 11/2/2006 8:24:00 PM

coming home from A Chorus Line done at a local community college and remembering what I did for love, a misty nostalgia floods me as I remember seeing the show on Broadway and while virtually no theatre experience compares with the original performance on Broadway, I still have the memories and the feelings and no no they can't take that away from me... I am such a sucker for theatre...


it's the energy... and that is a dual edge for it is the energy that attracts and repels, the energy that combines and divides, for if you are aware, you know it can not be faked (and just about everybody tries)... a true singer or musician would understand...


and this is why so many are alone, for the creative energy is a fickle companion... the muse does not often like to share outside of the self unless there is a mirror and much libation (or deeper communion and compatibility) involved...


and me, I usually say too much... especially when I am moved, when I am turned on, when I am real with my emotions... I scare people off, drive them away with unabashed emotion... I wonder, sometimes, if anyone really wants honesty (oh yeah Billy Joel, but besides him)...


sure, make fun of my deepest fears and most sorrowful woes, why don't I?... why not, I'm kind of numb to them anyway (or is it just that I've come to be amused by the life as it is and accept the solitary experience... and I used to whine and moan about loneliness so much, whatever happened to that faux-needy pathos?... gone with the wind?)...


but the four year old still stands stretched to the sky as the magic of theatre races through the veins (and arteries too) and I continue to love bouncing around this stage called life... never mind the odd or worries looks from the stiff folk on the sideline, just give it your all and let your all give it to you... and if the whole world settles for less, you don't have to (I sure don't, which could be a chorus for a lonely old blues number, come to think of it, but that's besides the point)...

theatre gets me to rambling, in case you didn't notice... I mean, I've already bashed the heck out of the experience elsewhere because, unfortunately, either it deserved it or I have become a New York theatre snob in my old age... but you know they only call it elitist drivel because they are beneath us... and contempt too...

perhaps it was the inspiration of a comment that amused me into playing the role of critic and know-it-all, but then, there's some part of truth in every bit of humor (or else it wouldn't be funny... have I not been funny?... not at all?... oh dear, perhaps I should start again)...


hello, how are you?...


and if I told you how much you turn me on
would you be offended or just be long gone?

maybe you are a rare one who can respect honesty

and rarer still be one who gives it back to me


you can laugh, you can puke, you can call me any name

just please don't be indifferent cuz that's the way to insane

and I would rather you not just be one and the same

as every other politically correct narrow minded stain

on the face of humanity (can I be more plain?)


if I told you how much I want to be with you

would you want more graphic detail or tell me to get a clue

maybe you are a rare one who can respect a dream

and rarer still be one who knows what I mean


when I say that love is free and so are we

and it was not just some old hippie singing

read the constitution, seriously

and understand why the bells are ringing


we can do more than simply imagine

even if some will come down with guns

their fears can not change the truth we know

the revolution has once again begun


but let's get back to you and me for a moment

do you think there's a chance we could share a night

exploring every living breathing part of each other

and see if our dreams share a common light


hey I'm just asking because you're a stranger

and I want to believe we could be friends

so I start out by being as honest as I can be

cuz what good is a friend who pretends


and if I told you how much you turn me on

would you be flattered or just be long gone?

maybe you are a rare one who can respect honesty

and rarer still be one who gives it back to me


you can laugh, you can puke, you can call me any name

just please don't be indifferent cuz that's the way to insane

and I would rather you not just be one and the same

as every other politically correct narrow minded stain

on the face of humanity (can I be more plain?)


yeah, well, you see what happens when we start again, don't you?... anything can happen, that's what... and I dedicate that to anyone who is not offended or indifferent, cuz they need more help than I can give them... and if the person (or people) who actually personally inspired the rhyming portion of this rambling entry just by being so beautiful I could not speak wish to come forward and collect their prize, you know where to find me... did I mention I often say too much?...


ah, but like an old song said, and all I have to do is dream...


and between falling in love with teenage rock stars and saving wayward kids from lives of decadence and abuse, I pretend to be a folk hero singing protest songs on street corners for free... wait, here's a few verses coming along now..


it's not about bombs bursting in air
or any sort of macho manhood trip

we don't need to burn a flag to prove anything

they mock themselves enough as it is


any fool can see the greed behind their actions

any idiot can lead the blind to hell

they've all traded their passions for fashions

cuz they've run out of dreams to sell


but maybe there's an answer in the question

is there still hope for love in your eyes?

the truth seems to give many indigestion

because for too long they've only swallowed lies


so tell me you understand

by taking my hand

and show me you comprehend

by being a friend


and if a spark of love ignites

let it last for endless nights

but most of all let us respect each other

for we will always be sister and brother


and if enough of us remember not to forget

there may be hope for us humans yet


you just can't take me to a Broadway musical and expect me not to be rambling on and on in broken prose and semi-metered rhyme for the rest of the night (and I would too, if I didn't have any respect for the stuff I will be doing at work tomorrow, but alas, I actually put my money where my mouth is and live up to my ideals, dangit... I can be such a party pooper sometimes... laughing all the way as the party shall continue in bed, even if only in my dreams)...


all ego tripping and self-mockery aside, you should see me when I really get started...


but enough seriousness (after all, there's no one here to fall in love with in the flesh, so all I've got are words {and old songs and memories to inspire new babble and rhymes} tonight so it's play time)... the irony, however, is that I seem to be wanting to fall in love with a revolutionary, much to my amusement... perhaps I am flashing back to Evita, or better yet, Les Miserables... and it was the best of times and it was the worst of times for a far far better thing I do than I've ever done and a far far better rest I go to than I've ever known...


paraphrasing is almost as flattering as imitation, dontcha know... and I could so die for love if it would actually make things better than they are, but heck a life is a terrible thing to waste... still, when I see eyes that beg for attention, for nurturing, for affection, for seriousness and laughter and adoration... I melt... and I've seem eyes like those a few times in this life... just this summer, in fact...


and I would give everything I own... sheesh, that's a beautiful song (playing in my head at the moment)... don't take your love for granted, people, it's a horrible way to die... did I mention that I sometimes say too much?...


passion pours out of your eyes
and a longing for love

and a playful cockiness that knows lies

are a fool's game

that you are wise enough to play when you have to

am I telling secrets

not clearly enough to identify anyone

I hear you laughing


but you stare wide eyed as if you do not know

could it be too good to be true

that someone sees beyond your song and show

and understand the real you


it may all be just another fantasy

my mind is good for doing that

but if you want to sit and talk to me

that is exactly where I am at


my shoulder is available for your head

if you want to give it a place to rest

and whatever you want most in this world

I will give helping you get it my very best


because I see something in your eyes

that rocks my world

and I feel myself melting down inside

is it a fool's game

I will spend every moment offering

any proof you need to believe

I want you to be happy

and that is reality


if you want to sit and talk to me

beside you is where I will be


and what I did for love... but it's no sacrifice at all... and I haven't even gotten started and it's time to roll over and close my eyes... there's a long weekend ahead and sleeping tonight will allow me to enjoy it much more... tomorrow night there's New Found Glory, The Early November, Cartel, and Hit the Lights at the House of Blues and then Saturday starts as early as I can get up with the 100+ bands at the 12+ hour Deland Original Music Festival and that gets interrupted by 30 Seconds to Mars, HeadAutomatica, Receiving Ends of Sirens, Cobra Starship at the Hard Rock Café in the evening, dangit, too much overlapping music and fun (unless, of course, I use my secret power to be in two places at one, but then everybody would know my secret power so I won't use it this time)...


hey, what's that?... something about real life in a semi-coherent (unobscure) paragraph?... it must be time to head off la la land... so to the fun and freeing voices of Meg and Dia I sail off toward sweet slumbers (golden, even) on the wings of hope and in dreams of love, for all and for one and for me... for surely (and even Shirley), I've said enough for tonight...