...THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE...

... my   "Keep In Touch"   pages ... my   "Keep In Touch"   pages ... my   "Keep In Touch"   pages ... my   "Keep In Touch"   pages ... my   "Keep In Touch"   pages ...
A Journal of Sorts
. o O ( of course I should be sleeping ) O o .








more to follow







so a long twenty four hours ago this day started... got another specialist doctor started and set up the lower abdominal tests for next week... the results of the upper abdominal tests will be back next week as well... the ears are clear and that leaves the teeth... dentist here I come, woo hoo!

even if I have little faith in modern medicine because I have little faith in the people who practice it, having worked in the highly impersonal and mismanaged atmostphere of several hospitals along the way through this life, it still brings some sense of satisfaction that I actually did (or am in the process of doing) the full check-up with most of the bells and whistles... now if I only get back to exercising regularly and running again, maybe I'll stop all the whimpy whining and start being myself again...

confession: it might be that I may have given up on humanity and if that's the case, I don't know if I want to come back just to be cynical and bitter and caustic (or flippant and irreverent) all the time... I want to care again and believe there is real reason to care... but I am starting to consider the idea that maybe nobody at this stage of human evolution knows how... still, I want to believe in love...

meanwhile, my other (newer) journals are up to date... that makes three other new journals (see the gardens links below) besides this one and the others around here that are quite dormant at the moment... anybody notice my heartbeats are not happening... oh yeah?... how long has it been?... the same time menu bar below hasn't been updated properly in more than a year (unless, by the time you are reading this, it has been... but that won't be today... or anytime withing this month... way too far behind in this journal to spread myself thinner than I already am... and whatever happened to the letters to the night site I paid for this year?... and it's been more than two years since the music again... what's that, the forth time?... fifth?... who's counting?...

and who wants to know?

the metal show was ok at the Lost and Found tonight... the sound system could have been much clearer for vocals (and I wish more singers would sing instead of just ranting incoherently... for me, the rant loses it's effect if it is all there is to the show)... but then, that is the way of the world, balance is very rare...

and does it really matter tonight?

yeah, I know... but you are not here so I can







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READ DISCLAIMER    Layla

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