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...THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE...
more to follow later I've been quite depressed the last couple of days... it's mostly because I did so bad (by my standards) on my stress test at the doctors this week... I mean, I was surprised at how much my physical conditioning has deteriorated... and excuses like i'd never actually used a treadmill before and I hadn't slept in 30 hours and I hadn't eaten in 16 hours or the BP was taken manually by someone not all that experienced while I was jogging on a treadmill do not help... I still should not have been so quickly at 160bpm and my bp should not have risen so high (even if it was skewed by my movement and the manual reader)... so i have a long way to go... longer than I thought... and the dumb thought settles down in the murk... maybe I am closer to death than to life and should just give up and enjoy the high fat foods and snack foods and video and computers and give up on the marathon I still intend to run again someday... definitely not the best thought to live with... J |
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