...THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE...

... my   "Keep In Touch"   pages ... my   "Keep In Touch"   pages ... my   "Keep In Touch"   pages ... my   "Keep In Touch"   pages ... my   "Keep In Touch"   pages ...
A Journal of Sorts
. o O ( of course I should be sleeping ) O o .




so far behind



more to follow



later



what?... the magical transition didn't happen overnight... I must be getting old... dramatically transforming my diet has made only minor modifications externally... logic (and bio-chemistry) caim that major changes are going on internally... I suppose that a few years of vegetating and eating a very varied, but high fat high sodium high sugar diet, has this body conditioned to maintaining fat and the lack of exercise plays right into that metabolism... and then, the scary part (not medical stuff, I am still waiting for the consults to set up appointments for more in depths tests and nothing negative was found in the preliminary check-up)... I could barely do ten push-ups today... now that is a shock to the system... I shold have known when bowling balls seemed heavier than they used to...

any ordinary ego would cringe at this open exposure of how deteriorated this body has become after years of physical neglect... mine, of course, is going to DEF-CON 4 and putting nuclear missles on alert... just gotta love ego, it thinks so mch of me... and itself... lickily it is relatively immune (and defenseless to stop) the irreverent manner in which I deal with it and keep it from having much more than illusionary control over me... otherwise it might take over the universe...

but back to the confessions of a wasted body, there are a dozen very plausible reasons for my stupid decisions and lack of activity, but reasons dig graves too so there's not that much value in reason when change is necessary for contined survival... and lamenting over not having intimate (and I don't merely mean sexual) friends has gone in several complete circles over the years and I'm about tied of it (what?... really?... we're gonna stop lamenting and start doing something again/... like running?... like walking across the parking lot to the small but existing gym?... like jumping in the pool and swimming a few dozen laps when the weather warms again?... like...

when?

I'll let you know when the answer arrives



you could
be magic for me
you could
do wonders for me
you could
be special to me
you could
if you would
if you wanted to be

you could
reach deep inside me
you could
trust unconditionally
you could
have the secret key
yo could
if you would
if you wanted to be

more than my friend
more than my lover
more than the only one
left to discover
the passion and pain
the sunshine and rain
and all that could be
all that's left of my brain


when I went insane
I discovered the truth
but I couldn't bring it back
they wouldn't let me
they gave me drugs
to force me to forget
but I fooled them
cuz I'm not dead yet
just hiding deep inside
with the secrets of all time
and the keys to life itself
and the universe in rhyme


shhhh, come closer
I'll whisper in your ear
and if you want to hear
you will know before I do
the answer is inside
where you hide

shhh, come closer
if you listen very closely
you will find it has not died

are you still breathing?


. . .



you could
be magic for me
you could
do wonders for me
you could
be special to me
you could
if you would
if you wanted to be

you could
understand everything
if you wanted to
if you wanted to
if you wanted to
if you wanted to be


J



STUFF CURRENTLY STIMULATING (OR BORING) THE SENSES
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gardens
oddends
linkage
moments
          work,
Alanis Morissette, Jen Chapin, Goo Goo Dolls, work, local radio
The Salmon of Doubt   by Douglas Adams
broccoli, dip(ff), oatmeal, yogurt
   wantlist
READ DISCLAIMER   

, and wandering the web

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