...THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE...

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Are You My Friend?
(WANNA BE?... C'MON, I'LL BE YER BEST FRIEND J)


Hi... I'm looking for friends offline... I welcome friends online too, but at the moment I spend most of my time offline and I have few friends offline and I really want to find people to do things with... I live in Orlando, FL and would like to build a new life for myself (wanna help?)... I lived here a while back so I know the area, but people I knew back them are gone or unfindable so I'm all alone (know the feeling?... hear the violins?)... true friends take time, so it's gonna be lonely until I find someone with time who wants to be my friend (offline... remember?... that's supposed to be why you came in through the window... did you bring your silver spoon?... you won't need the hammer, bang bang)... ah, anyway, being an eternal optimist (ever hoping for a response... or a call) and hoping you might enjoy my babbling, I continue (even if you are far away), writing my "looking for offline friends page" J

if you don't have time for my playful babbling, you can read a
brief list of what I want in life today... I'd appreciate it oodles J

my activities list may be the easiest way to pick something to do with me...
just click on what you want to do (or add your favorite) and press send J

if you are into emails or message boards, you can connect with Orlando, FL in a local online group (or even sneak up on me in disguise or something)...

and if you do have time for reading my rambling introductions and whatever else falls out of my mind, feel free to wander wherever your heart desires...

I have wonderful friends online, just ask them (there is seriousness in my teases and giggles, hopefully you'll get used to it if you don't already enjoy my irreverent sense of humor)... a while back I had super wonderful fun running around the theme parks with a visiting online friends from up north and two new friends she brought along from across the ocean... I'm still smiling about that... I am hoping for more visits soon (pppplleeeeeeease?) J

yeah, I'm still a Disney kid {but love all the parks}, still reading Dr. Suess and watching toons and loving to play day or night, definitely nights too... maybe I'm gonna grow up to be the oldest living raver (but then, I'm not gonna grow up... it seems such a foolish waste of time... and it's about time I updated this since I haven't been to a rave in a few years)... I am a night person though, always have been... I seldom sleep when alone... come to think of it, I don't sleep much when I am not alone, but I sleep much more readily cuddled with someone who wants to sleep... anyway, over the course of this life, I've hardly ever slept at nights... I work nights now, but still don't sleep J

still, I want local friends... and used to have annual passes to all the parks but did not have friends into any of the theme parks (and it's expensive, but I'm willing to go for annual passes again... wanna play?... come out out (wherever you are)... and I love music and arts, so anything related to music calls me... if you're into singing, playing, composing, dancing, raves, clubs (any kind, from cards & games to computer to whatever), movies, or sports, give me a call J

alas, time changes everything and some of the links above (and all over my pages) are no longer valid (but try, cuz some are) and the links that open emails need you to remove the removethis parentheses after the @ sign (I had to put that in due to the addresses getting thousands of SPAM junk mails every day and so many emails getting lost in the junk)... if you try emailing and don't get a response, try going to my most current online journals and diaries (yes, I have several) and using the addresses there... apologies for making emailing me so much work, but thousands of junks mails a day is just too much to sort through... so what else can I tell you about me in words...

I'm an almost fully recovered romance addict ready to fall off the twelfth step again (omigosh, I can't believe, here I go again...)... but I want friends...

fact is, you can read all about my heartstrings in several places out here on the web... but it's best if you don't fall in love with me until you understand what you'd be getting into... I'm quite a handful, or so I am told... my best friends have always protected me from myself (the way I want to explore everything and trust people, especially from my heart, for my addiction to being in love has gotten me into... well, ummmm... not nice situations... my far away friends are laughing even as they worry... laughing, cuz they trust me to survive anything... worry, cuz they wonder how I manage to... survive, that is)... that's why finding a true best friend in the offline world is so important... cuz somebody's gotta take me seriously when I don't (which is often)...

actually, I tend to laugh a lot (especially at me) and I can find humor in anything (and I mean anything), but it's just the part of me most easily put into words... I'll let you find the more serious and romantic words later (as you wish), for now, I'll try to stop babbling (impossible) and focus on the basic things friends oughta know to see if we are compatible friends, ok?...

I don't smoke, drink, or do any chemicals anymore (though I won't say never), so heading to bars or smoke-filled rooms alone can be a drag (pun intended... here I am, on the road again...), but I want friends (I suppose you might be getting the point, huh?... maybe you're even getting the parentheses... or the subtle lyrics slipped in here, there, and everywhere?... and somewhere)...

while I strive to be healthy, I love all-nighters with friends and put up with the smoke to feel the energy of clubs and raves, but just as easily treasure a quiet night on the beach... I'll go anywhere and try just about anything I haven't tried before at least once... remembering above all else, do no harm...

not enjoying (or pretending to enjoy) the generally socially acceptable poisonous activities that our culture calls social life limits the ways available for meeting others offline... I mean, as I said I love music and books and art and sports and games and shopping, even... but few people go to a movie or show or concert or library or museum or parks or a mall to meet new people... anybody out there know what I mean?... if you do, call me... sometimes I think people smoke, drink, pop pills, and shoot up just to distract themselves from feeling lonely or from feeling like they're in a meat-market... or just from feeling...

  I'd rather be feeling...

it's still really amazing to me how superficial most people let themselves become in order to avoid loneliness... if I want mindless sex with a relative stranger, I know where to go... but I want to share a whole lot more than bodies in this life... I can be wildly horny and passionate and sensual (and am most of the time)... I just take care of myself cuz that feels better than giving myself to someone who doesn't know me well enough to know what turns me on... I don't need my inhibitions lowered, in fact, most people tell me I need to develop some inhibitions... like become less than you are in order to fit in... sick or what?... so I am still waiting and looking for someone as or more open and comfortable with self and trusting of self than me, so where does that leave me?...

right here babbling to you, I guess J

I did start exploring night life again and I like the fact that downtown has outdoor seating in some places (like around the Wall Street area)... I see most of the shows at Theatre Downtown and would like to see more shows anywhere... I want to find people who want to check out some of the clubs and night spots (I saw "free pool" at the Kit Kat Club but alas, the torn down the FBI)... I used to go out somewhere almost every night... last time I saw Wendy Benson at One-Eyed Jacks I liked her sound and Amy Steinberg is one of many locals making great music... I've been to a few local-band shows (metal, folk, my tastes vary) at the Hard Rock Cafe and would love to see more bands and artists, anybody interested?... I definitely miss music almost as much as I miss hugs and personal smiles and private laughs between friends and secrets and romance and sharing dreams... a while back the Firestone has started Thursday night raves again {though the law saws they can't go all night like they used to... I miss those early 90s all-nighters at the Firestone}... and I'm still looking for suggestions for places to go), though expect me to seek fresh air (I love to be outdoors) a few times a night...

I love lots of activities that don't involve poisons or suicidal tendencies... though some things I've enjoyed, like rolling down sand dunes, roller coasters, racing cars, for example (and I still wanna jump out of a plane) might be considered by some to require some death-wish madness... I enjoy adrenaline rushes much more when they are natural, so while I am not a preacher for abstinence or anything (I am in favour of legalizing drugs and sex, actually, but that doesn't mean I'll buy either and that's a whole other conversation), I basically gave up most recreational chemicals after years of studying them at various universities, concerts, road trips, gatherings, parties, and other planes of higher learning...

it's not like I need drugs to help my mind wander... somebody once told me crop circles were formed by people getting lost in fields trying to smoke there way out, each taking a different direction... but that may just be rural legend... another theory is some clever farmers supplement their income by... wait, I'm getting way off the track now... where were we?...

back to finding friends, remember? J

so essentially not drinking or playing the other typical superficial pretense social games leaves me (and you too?) with limited options for meeting others in this culture... I'm not a follower of any organized religions and I have yet to find any religious-type group that tolerates a happy spirit who strives to actualize harmlessness and does not need saving or guidance or gaudy ritual... personals and dating services and social clubs seem more geared to relationships and I'm not seeking romance (though I welcome it as my heart's an open book), I want a friend or friends to share some fun with... or do laundry with, for that matter (mundane life-tasks are much more fun for me when shared... ya know?) J

though speaking of personals sites I did put a listing up on Friendfinder and on OneandOnly and you can read them (links below) if you'd like... I still want friends more than a romance, but I'd love to fall in love again too so if you happen to know or be my soulmate, here I am... besides, I get lonely too...

I started exploring volunteer agencies and professional associations a bit, though they are generally more work-oriented, filled with seniors and workaholics (not child-at-heart people who wanted to play)... I worked enough (averaged more than 90 hours a week in 1999... I'm a recovering workaholic too) to have the luxury of taking some time off in 2000, but not being permanently independently wealthy, I went back to work and currently work the night shift... any other night owls out there?... I wanna play, dang it! LAM J

but in 2000 I got sidetracked and somehow got myself elected as vice president of the Central Florida Computer Society (gotta do something about that name), but there was too much work and not enough play or music or social life or fun things I am interested in... I wandered into some other things and suddenly, lost everything again (trusting people doesn't seem to work for me, yet I keep trying to find the honest soul that can be trusted), spent most of 2001 working overtime so I cold bank some savings, by a new car and other toys, recover from some betrayals and losses (trusting people is still dangerous and I am still learning), and distract myself from some stuff we can discuss later, in person, if you care enough to remember to ask... but I'm still looking for (all together now - friends)... a social life and especially that one or few particular friend(s) (could there be more of us?) who really could understand a looney toon child like me... I know you're out there somewhere (the dreamer dreams)...

so... here I am... laughing at myself (I do that a lot, often between the lines or in parentheses... perhaps you've noticed)... writing this open letter to you... and there you are reading... I know why I'm writing... I want a friend to play with... to grow with... to learn with... to share with... why are you reading?...

wanna be my friend? J

if you want to know more, just ask by email or call (my preference) or go on the page 2 or ask by ICQ using the message panel below (though I do not check ICQ at all these days so just save that idea... I check email a few times a week, so say hello there or on the phone... but if you're shy or don't mind waiting, use any way you want)... hope to hear from you... as you wish J


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note that I do not turn on ICQ these days, so I won't get your message until... who knows when... but anyway...
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