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...THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE... (I HOPE...) THERE'S ALWAYS HOPE...
I used to write letters to strangers all the time, long before the internet... eventually I'll create a garden for them, but even then some will pop up here in the intros garden just because... and here's one now... (this one was a letter to someone running a local singles group/website) how many people attend (low to high numbers) your events?... is there a dress code (formally or informally agreed to)?... I don't know who I am writing to, but I tend to open up easily (too easily for most people I've met) so here's a bit of an introduction and how I feel at the moment (I go to extremes, as once Billy Joel sang :) I've been a hermit for a while now (emotionally for a few years, but since February I've been working 80+ hours a week and haven't had a permanent place (currently staying at an expensive weekly studio/motel while hoping to bump into the 'right' roommate) so socially I've vegetated and I think I may have finally figured out how to be shy (by accident I write as i laugh at myself... I do that a lot... write and laugh at myself, that is) and contrary to my in-person personality (can be quite invisible) I tend to ramble in my writing... as my webpage may attest)... I have been exceedingly turned off (disgusted, frustrated, and numbed almost to the point of giving up on humanity, but that's not right for me so I don't) by the prejudice, agism, and materialistic judgements I've encountered just about everywhere I've lived... when I moved to Orlando in 1990 I found lots of people to be around because I had lots of money (bought a house south of Disney and stayed 'retired', playing at theme parks and nightclubs and travelling, until 1995 when I moved up to Toronto for a few years to be in love and raise some kids)... and then the bottom dropped out (completely) and I was left for dead... I lived on the street, in a car, and wandered about a bit... in '99 I worked and saved so I could take 2000 off and gather my wits (still haven't found them though, but that's not to say they're gone forever... there's always hope, after all)... survival dictated a return to an income producing endeavor in 2001 and I chose to return to a health care job cuz I love helping/nurturing (psycho-tests and personal preference agree that my ideal occupation is parent) and with overtime, the $ isn't bad (though I'm still not earning what I earned in NY in the eighties)... and that brings us to now (more details about me and my meanderings through this life are available for the asking (and sprinkled liberally throughout my website, especially in the journals)... though what's real and what's fantasy and what's imagination and creativity can merge in my written gardens, so while you're welcome and encouraged to read me as much as you want (or can stand), asking is the surest way to know me (and somebody somewhere will want to again someday, right? :} today I am waking alone, again, in this small studio room and in a few minutes will be out the door to work... I'm working nights and some weekends at the moment (pay is better and there's other reasons) and sighing over the fact that this mostly happy child I am is going through a very lonely phase in this life... a time when there's usually nobody to play with, to talk to, to do anything with... I do have a couple of people in town who care about me (so I know I'm not a leper or smell bad... hope you're smiling with me at my attempted humors), but both work a lot and have little time for anything - and both go to bed each night by now (10PM)... I'm not looking for sex persay, though I miss intimacy... I am always open to finding my soulmate, but looking too hard is not the way to find something so precious... I am seeking a friend I can trust... I have been burned - betrayed, used, and abused - by the last few people I've trusted unconditionally or even a little... people say i give too much and leave myself too vulnerable... I say what's the point of life if we're not?... I am existential so most stuff only holds meaning when it's shared with someone who matters, but the most important things in the world to me have been destroyed, discarded, or kept by others and I'm looking for someone or people who an understand what it's like on the road back from ultimate betrayals and literally being left for dead... I can be light and fluffy too (sillier than most young children in fact), but I don't pretend (unless it's a game I'm playing with a friend... with being the key word there) and I'm not really looking for superficial interactions right now... I guess that's mostly when I'm alone... so I read about SinglesSteppingOut in Gary's long weekly emails (I met Gary at a party I threw at a friend's house last year and he seems fun and nice)... I even created Orlando webpages and a lot of online groups hoping for more contacts, but few found my pages or groups so far (suppose I should read up on e-marketing, but it hasn't gleened (or is that gleamed) my interest yet... I prefer reading science fiction)... so here I am inquiring and introducing myself... what now? :) hope this isn't 'too much' or inappropriate... knowing me, it'll probably end up on my website in intros or letters as yet another example of my attempt to make my website a personal journey and not just a creative playground... maybe something surprisingly wonderful will come of this (I don't know how I stay optimistic, but the edge of perspective I ride can be quite precarious these days)... I hope to hear from you (or from anyone you may pass this along to - please do)... I hope to find what I seek (whatever that might be... someone to seek it with me)... I hope you've found the time you've spent reading in some way worthwhile... and I hope you find and create more smiles than frowns along your way :) hl, ric Web Gate 407-426-7101 (voicemail) 407-justask (cellphone) if you do nothing else, please help me find a roommate? just pass along this link or my numbers/email... many thanks :) http://home.att.net/~candor/roommate.html * a friend is a stranger waiting to be met * thanks for coming to read one of my intros J honest love, ric Web Gate * a friend is a stranger waiting to be met * * a friend is a stranger wanting to be met * * a friend is a stranger willing to be met * READ WRITE CALL MORE INTROS MORE BIOS or CLICK YOU BACK BUTTON TO RETURN TO THE PAGE YOU CAME FROM (or click on one of the links below) AND I HOPE ENJOY YOUR TIME HERE, THERE, AND EVERYWHERE J WANT LIST E-GROUPS WHAT'S NEW WORKLIFE KIT LIFETIMES JOURNALS HEARTBEATS FAREWELL |